The walk down the empty road.

Certain people leave behind their footprints in our hearts forever and our lives are never the same even when they are no longer there. Today when I walk alone on the wet sand, I look back, I can’t see your footprints anymore coz’ they have been washed away by the waves of time, but the imprints that you have made in my heart, can never be washed away…

I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling feeling numb about every other existence around me, trying to accept the fact that he is no longer there who has made me laugh till my stomach hurt, whose lap I deliberately sat on while watching the TV, who whispered sweet poems into my ears & whose hand I had always held when we went for walks together. He was gone, just like that, without an explanation. Laying here alone in bed, our bed felt so empty, the bed sheets unworn… And only these words kept repeating in my mind ‘’its over’’ and my mind kept replaying the scene of him holding his suitcase and walking out of that door, while I just stood there frozen watching him in disbelief.

I can never forget that fateful rainy day, when he had come through the door with his hair dripping wet, it was noticeable that he had been in the rain all day, maybe just walking around trying to find a way to break the news to me, after looking visibly anxious, quietly he sits down on the chair, looks at me and speaks to me softly "we need to talk" ,
"This isn't the easiest thing for me to do, I can't go on this way anymore, this thing....I-I-I just can't!" he started to stammer.
I stood there still taken aback at his anxiousness, trying to put together what he meant.

’’I am leaving you, this relationship is over." he said lowering his head.

I never saw this coming, I thought my life revolved around him, no matter how busy I would be at work I would always find the time to call him during my lunch breaks, would text him whenever I could steal a chance, I would spend my Sundays cooking his favorite dishes for him, and I never realized how less I thought for myself, & how much I had tried to balance between my busy work and love life, without complaining.

I just stood there silently listening to him apologize to me for “letting me down’’ , and how much he thought of me being the nicest woman ever known to him but yet its impossible for him to stay in the relationship any longer.

Maybe I was too dumbstruck to cry or plead to him to not walk out of our relationship, or push him to tell me why he was leaving me, while he looked at me confused and mistook my silence as a signal to leave.

I felt heart broken, as I broke out into tears that over flowed with pain. I fell to the ground and sat up against the wall, while I see him close the door behind him to leave. I sat there alone and confused for I don’t know how many hours trying to understand why all this had happened to me, to our relationship. It's over just like that? No explanation? He just left me to wonder why?
Days and nights went by, followed by weeks without even a phone call or a text message from him. I would run to open the door every time someone would ring the bell thinking he was back, or rush to answer the phone or the text, with a racing heartbeat thinking it could be his, and finally gave up thinking he would ever call me or would ever come back through that door again. I don’t remember eating or sleeping or seeing anyone during that phase, all I would do was look at the snaps we took together, recall memories of togetherness, read his texts over and over again and feel desperate and cry myself to sleep.

I ached to call him to demand for an explanation, but neither could I get through his number nor did I know where he had disappeared. I would stand at my balcony where once we both shared the morning paper discussions and jokes over coffee, looking far far away trying to introspect my life, what had gone wrong with our relationship and why did he just walk away on me without an explanation but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get an answer.

And months later I see him at a cafe, sitting there with a lady holding her hand just like he had held mine, looking into her eyes and smiling at her just like he did once to me, and speaking something softly into her ears just like he did when he would share one of his poems with me. My heart sank, and my entire existence trembled looking at what was in front of me and the memories of us being together, the time that he walked away on me, & the pain that I had suffered till date, made a chain of sequence in my mind.

He left me for another that was his explanation.